Timing

Yesterday I thought it was tomorrow for three days.

--my daughter, age 8

If

"If it weren't for memory loss . . . ."

-- Michael Kaye

Not Grade A, but . . .

That oughtta scare the B-grade-Jesus outta them.

Eat your seat

My dog is sitting in a comfy chair, but she's getting bored. Oh, wait, she's trying to chew the stuffing and springs out of the seat! Doesn't she realize she'll ruin the seat for herself and anyone who would want to sit there in the future?

Nope.

Write your own political punch line here.

Empathizing with ants

"I bet fat people taste good when they're dead and they're eaten by ants."

-- Jake, age 8

Passé play

"Who wants to play dress-up anyway? That's so last year."

-- An 8-year old down the hall